Saturday, January 14, 2012

Mansion Apartment Shack House (M.A.S.H.) - What will you live in when you grow up?

We are moving. I've already moved a dozen times or so, so it's not a big deal. What WILL be a big deal is moving into a house like a real adult would own. Since I used to trash most of the stuff that wouldn't fit into my car (and I may well do this again), this leaves the new house incredibly bare (or perfect for a trampoline and a pair of skates).
Photo credit
Sometime around 2003, I idly dreamed of being an interior designer. Of course I skipped to the good part where I was making millions designing rooms for people who had incredible amounts of money. Since I had no plan or money, all of my decorating attempts at this point have been C- at best. In fact, I vaguely knew what furniture belonged in what room, which is surprising given my mom ordered Southern Living and other room-project-magazines during the entirety of my life.

Using the term "design" loosely, I came up with rooms that included:
A swing under my loft. Typing on a computer is a little weird at first, but now they have these mechanisms.
Presenting, the Hawaii Chair, that allows you to perfect your abs at the office.  Photo credit

Rope lights, a cheaper cousin of the neon sign.
Catwoman costume and cats are separate. Photo credit

Sheets. Do you remember sheet forts when you were a kid? They are inspiring like how this is inspiring.
Photo credit
Spray painted picture frames.
Cat furniture.
Fake ivy leaves.

Well, I didn't decorate with cat furniture per se, but it was one of the bigger pieces of furniture in the living room. 

Anyway, I'm not sure what I'll do with the rooms in the new house. I have briefly considered something with pink and zebra, but I just don't have that kind of commitment. I mean, zebra rugs can be over $350, and that's not great considering it got a 3/5 star rating. Then there are creepy furniture and rug stores you can go to where you're not allowed to actually sit on the furniture and everything is "on sale for a limited time only."
Perfect for my Addams family room...I will take the whole set! Photo credit
I could get a real designer, but if I had that kind of money, I would retire.
Ah, first world problems...

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Cool Stuff that Should Be Made in the Future

Forget the 1949 cartoon on the "House of Tomorrow" with its automatic sandwich maker. We need real products right now. Here's a list, in no particular order, of things I think we should have today or at least this year:
Women's wrinkle free shirts under $60 - ... That aren't muumuus.
Red nose cream - To transform you from Rudolph to Prancer!
Mood recorders - Is there an app for this?
Condiment deathmatches - My money is on BBQ sauce, but I know any white sauce (including salad cream) will win.
Salad cream? Hell yeah!

Teleport machines
Clothes that wash themselves - We want the clothes to also dry and fold themselves, but inventions follow a cycle of iterations.
Super absorbent movie theater seats - Just kidding. I think they are made this way naturally.
Personal zombie entourage - Wait, isn't that redundant?
Equal pay for equal work
Alerts for dropped calls - Who hasn't said half of their life story before realizing they were cut off half a minute ago?
High water pressure in all buildings - Anything less is unacceptable.

I'll take one of each, but one is actually better than nothing.