The biggest (or most pressing issue) was that I couldn't
find any good resources on how to
make this transition. At the time, I was signed up for an online
entrepreneurial organization that provided interviews of people who ‘made it’ as
specialists in their field, and who made enough money to support themselves.
Others in the group were somewhere on the path, figuring out how to act
normally in a crowd or how to get feedback on their business ideas. I was
somewhere in the middle of that spectrum, and honestly looking for a way to
replace my income stream with something else.
I set out multiple fishnets to figure out a path. I
informally interviewed five well respected engineers at work on how they
managed their careers. Consistently, their response was that they just said yes
to whatever came along, which sometimes took them out of their ‘comfort zone.’
They iterated that this was the key to their success. I was happy to find
consistency, but I had no idea what the heck they meant without some specifics
or context. People tend to learn a lot when they are out of their comfort zone,
but that doesn't mean that they become excellent at anything. When I was a
technical trainer, which had nothing to do with my engineering degree, I was
probably a “B-rated” trainer, as I had no formal grooming, nor did I really
care about getting more polished as a speaker, or spent my free time learning
how to use the software better.
I also asked people in the entrepreneur forums how they
transitioned careers. I got one lonely half-response from a woman who served as
a diplomat and is now selling Chinese tea. I asked her all sorts of questions
about how she was able to find the opportunities for tea, and how she managed
her money situation. She was obviously happy about her business, but I wanted
to know how she discovered her calling, and what triggered the switch. As it
turns out, people don’t necessarily want to get into these types of details
about their lives. Besides the tea seller, I exhausted several other outlets,
including a lot of internet research. I
wasn't looking to copy a specific road map, but I couldn't see my own path based
on information that only scratched the surface. I wanted to understand
everything about the emotional roller coaster of “making it”, as well as any
monetary changes. I didn't want to go back to a chaotic financial place.
But at the core of this research, from all of these
attempts, I was looking for permission to let my creative work into the world.
I wanted my paintings and writing to be “good enough” to exist beyond the safe
walls of our home. It’s an incredibly scary world out there, especially after
watching the constant tearing down of celebrities and artists on the internet
or in the news. I haven’t put in the
10,000 hours into any one thing (maybe sleeping), and so I don’t necessarily
consider myself qualified enough to join the race of fantastic painters and
story tellers.
However, the vision and the drive are still there. I have
always been able to see a distant light on the horizon of doing something
great, of contributing something great in the world.
This past week, I submitted a painting* I’d been
working on in my oils class to the media contest at work. It took all the guts
I had, because I've committed over a decade of time to studying and applying
engineering, efficiency, and data management. I finally let my work “into the
river.” I have no idea what will happen, but after submission, I experienced an
incredible peace. How funny that I need to prove something like this to myself
– even when there’s nothing at stake.
In fact, I’m inspired to do another portrait, maybe this
time using an original photo versus copyrighted material.
One day at a time…
*I wouldn't feel right posting a picture of the painting here, as it would invoke copyright infringement. The original picture is Sakuran II by Zemotion, found here.
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