Mansion Apartment Shack House (M.A.S.H.) - What will you live in when you grow up?

We are moving. I've already moved a dozen times or so, so it's not a big deal. What WILL be a big deal is moving into a house like a real adult would own. Since I used to trash most of the stuff that wouldn't fit into my car (and I may well do this again), this leaves the new house incredibly bare (or perfect for a trampoline and a pair of skates).

Photo credit

Sometime around 2003, I idly dreamed of being an interior designer. Of course I skipped to the good part where I was making millions designing rooms for people who had incredible amounts of money. Since I had no plan or money, all of my decorating attempts at this point have been C- at best. In fact, I vaguely knew what furniture belonged in what room, which is surprising given my mom ordered Southern Living and other room-project-magazines during the entirety of my life.

Using the term "design" loosely, I came up with rooms that included:
A swing under my loft. Typing on a computer is a little weird at first, but now they have these mechanisms.

Presenting, the Hawaii Chair, that allows you to perfect your abs at the office.  Photo credit

Rope lights, a cheaper cousin of the neon sign.

Catwoman costume and cats are separate. Photo credit

Sheets. Do you remember sheet forts when you were a kid? They are inspiring like how this is inspiring.

Photo credit

Spray painted picture frames.

Cat furniture.

Fake ivy leaves.

Well, I didn't decorate with cat furniture per se, but it was one of the bigger pieces of furniture in the living room. 

Anyway, I'm not sure what I'll do with the rooms in the new house. I have briefly considered something with pink and zebra, but I just don't have that kind of commitment. I mean, zebra rugs can be over $350, and that's not great considering it got a 3/5 star rating. Then there are creepy furniture and rug stores you can go to where you're not allowed to actually sit on the furniture and everything is "on sale for a limited time only."

Perfect for my Addams family room...I will take the whole set! Photo credit

I could get a real designer, but if I had that kind of money, I would retire.

Ah, first world problems...

Oedipus Complex & Breaking the Cycle

Trolling through my usual blogs, Jezebel, Love Maegan, and Penelope Trunk, I was expecting some light reading since it was the holidays. However, Penelope Trunk is rarely a "light read." This week there was a picture of a giant bruise on her bare hip under the words, "I am at a hotel. I think I'm dying. I have a bruise from where the Farmer slammed me into our bed post."


Cue record scratching noise. I read the rest of the post, which was a highly descriptive account of her abusive spousal relationship. It bothered me so much that I read all of the comments, like I was expecting for some big reveal to the story I ingested. Nothing. 


I like reading Penelope Trunk's blog, as her opinions are well researched, but slightly controversial. I found her blog when I was devouring content about Tim Ferris' book, "4 Hour Body," another well researched book about minimum effort/maximum benefit. One afternoon I read most of her blog, discovering that she has Asperger's, a horrible childhood, and some very deep rooted issues. Her writing is refreshing though, as she points out her limitations and how it affects everyday tasks like going to the DMV without incident, for example.


I couldn't understand how she could be in a relationship where the safety of her children was at stake (in my mind, it's not ok for kids to see grown ups take something out on other people). The last line of the entry, "That’s why I can’t leave. I want someone to miss me." boggles me. Is it the Asperger's? 


Are we destined to follow our parents' footsteps? I sure as hell hope you have more free will than that. But I constantly see old college acquaintances in shotgun weddings, live the single-parent life, or work at the local Applebee's for a career. 


Growing up, my parents fought. Mom got out when it got bad, to which I'm forever grateful. Later, I realized that most people are attracted to people who are like their parents. Would this mean that I'd be in an abusive relationship? Would I find someone full of charm who would later turn out to be hateful? I looked hard for these things in all of my dates. I didn't marry someone until we had dated for six years, just to be sure, because I wouldn't want that to happen to my future kids. 


Do we have free will, can we make a deliberate decision not to repeat a negative cycle? I hope that I have the clarity to see the beginnings of a bad situation, because I've spent most days thinking about how bad situations begin. Before dating my husband, my mind was in another place, and had no self awareness, therefore it was hard to improve anything about myself. Worse, I didn't realize I had no self awareness. Maybe this is where Penelope is - she has an inkling about why things are the way they are, but feels no control in the situation. No one gives you feedback these days (unless you consider internet comments).


Maybe we all can change, but it takes the right set of variables. I hope Penelope and her kids can find these.

Welcome back to Turbo Walking! And name changing

Since I've been married, I decided to change my last name. According to one study, over 50% of Americans in 2011 still think that women should change to their husband's last name. Obviously they didn't ask me, celebrities, or anyone with academic publications.  Having grown up as a Gen Y person, I don't necessarily believe that one needs to adopt their husband's name, I just thought it was beneficial to change on a couple of levels.

For example, I got the chance to move up in the alphabet. If you were ever in public schools, you know that order mainly depends on last names, and rarely on height (which, if the case, I would always be first in line). Second, I have no ties to my maiden name. The W family, who have caused me more stress than joy, are not representative of my personal philosophies.

But I'm beginning to see a lot of career women not take their husband's names, for a variety of reasons. Publications, reports, and general identity of being a good worker go down the drain with the maiden name, should one choose to change it (especially once your reputation is established). People like Lady Gaga, Cher, and Madonna totally avoid this scenario by not having a last name. Even if Julia Roberts were to marry her child's father, I doubt she'd take his name.

So with the new name came a new email. With a new email, I decided to change websites. Because the Google email address cannot be decoupled from the blog, it was becoming a pain to log out-log in-log out to type something up for you guys, check the stats, or whatnot.

Success: Noted

Sometime around the year 2000, I wrote in my journal that all problems could be solved if all the notes we wrote on scraps of paper could be collected on one big wall. We could see everything together and make sense of all combined variables. I believe we unconsciously do this, and try to recreate the attempt in our daily lives. All of the notes I write look something like:
"Trapiche Malbec, Argentina 2008"
"HW 5 due by April 29"
"Call Mom"
"Eggs, spinach, salsa... (grocery list)"
"Full Metal Panic (an anime I've been wanting to check out)"

So it looks more like a to-do list, but if you were to add all of my to-do lists together, you could see my habits. For example, I like anime, wine, eating eggs, and sticking to deadlines, as those things are typically subjects I write down. Over the years, I've been able to troubleshoot my diet, my skin, and basically all other personal problems by looking at the topics written down. There is a definite correlation between my immunity (or lack of) and the amount of bread and carby food I eat. When I eat a relatively higher diet in protein, I notice little wins like my skin clearing up, less water retention, and fast growing nails, which are all related to health. I write down all of these things, so to later see what works and what doesn't.

Physical health is also related to my mental health - was I stressed with school or barely scraping by? How were my relationships like at that time? See what I did there? I just connected health and money and relationships in an organic way. While correlations between these things sometimes aren't readily apparent, it's helpful to see all of the data as a set instead of just a select metric (e.g. weight on a scale every day).

Other observations through note writing:
Problem solving and coping with something are directly proportional to the amount of good sleep I get.
Lifting weights leans me out way better than running several miles a day.
Certain people give me energy, and certain people drain energy.
Knowing myself is invaluable for decisions about money or lifestyle.
People change.
I change.
Change is cool.

A note about change... I've been keeping journals since I was in fourth grade, although the frequency of my writing has varied throughout the years. Some journals include copious self discovery while others are merely records observations. If nothing else, I can see the change in myself and in others, and it's pretty neat (I finally found some good hair products, and a great hair stylist for example).