Monday, July 29, 2013

Mannequins are Just Like Us

It was 2 pm on Saturday, and The Mister and I were impatiently waiting in the dealership’s queue for someone to help us. All we wanted was an inspection, and what the dealership didn't know was that I've had inspections before that only took 10-15 minutes. Using our laser beam stares (dual-focused for maximum effect) we finally got a nice man’s attention. 

“It’ll be an hour and a half…. at the most,” he quickly added, probably after noting the two holes in the ceiling right above my eyebrows.

“Yeah. We’re out.”

We decided that we needed a break. 
A date even, post haste. 
So we went to our favorite watering hole right off I-95, which also happens to be at the mall, because walking around in air conditioned bliss while people watching is one of our favorite things to do.

Once in the mall, “Look at that mannequin! I mean, who even can stand that way in real life?” he said.

I couldn't come up with anything; however, like a trail of breadcrumbs, there were mannequins only a mere stone's throw away that looked like this:

"What is she thinking?"
"Hmm.. probably whether or not she looks good in that dress, or maybe she's just judging all of us humans as we walk by."
Ten paces further, a whole set!

We like standing in line. And bad wigs.
Holy cow! We really hit on something here. There happens to be an entire subculture of mannequins that only differentiated themselves from us only by their plastic skin (and sometimes stares). They are just like us. For example, they have friends:

Oh! That's the same place I shop!!

They have dreams:
Need more pixie dust.

They get married:
Saying yes to the dress.

They get pregnant:
Boy or girl? Oh mannequin, cool!

And have little ones:

They have jobs:
Werkin' it
And today's secret ingredient is... legs!

They put on weight:
Add caption

And work it off:
I just got back from Power Power class.
I never eat doughnuts!

They hang out:
Mannequins photobombing each other.
Does anyone have a quarter? 

They enjoy the upper crust:
Life in plastic, it's fantastic!

They hire their own butlers:
Welcome home, Sir. 
Just like us!!