Mansion Apartment Shack House (M.A.S.H.) - What will you live in when you grow up?

We are moving. I've already moved a dozen times or so, so it's not a big deal. What WILL be a big deal is moving into a house like a real adult would own. Since I used to trash most of the stuff that wouldn't fit into my car (and I may well do this again), this leaves the new house incredibly bare (or perfect for a trampoline and a pair of skates).

Photo credit

Sometime around 2003, I idly dreamed of being an interior designer. Of course I skipped to the good part where I was making millions designing rooms for people who had incredible amounts of money. Since I had no plan or money, all of my decorating attempts at this point have been C- at best. In fact, I vaguely knew what furniture belonged in what room, which is surprising given my mom ordered Southern Living and other room-project-magazines during the entirety of my life.

Using the term "design" loosely, I came up with rooms that included:
A swing under my loft. Typing on a computer is a little weird at first, but now they have these mechanisms.

Presenting, the Hawaii Chair, that allows you to perfect your abs at the office.  Photo credit

Rope lights, a cheaper cousin of the neon sign.

Catwoman costume and cats are separate. Photo credit

Sheets. Do you remember sheet forts when you were a kid? They are inspiring like how this is inspiring.

Photo credit

Spray painted picture frames.

Cat furniture.

Fake ivy leaves.

Well, I didn't decorate with cat furniture per se, but it was one of the bigger pieces of furniture in the living room. 

Anyway, I'm not sure what I'll do with the rooms in the new house. I have briefly considered something with pink and zebra, but I just don't have that kind of commitment. I mean, zebra rugs can be over $350, and that's not great considering it got a 3/5 star rating. Then there are creepy furniture and rug stores you can go to where you're not allowed to actually sit on the furniture and everything is "on sale for a limited time only."

Perfect for my Addams family room...I will take the whole set! Photo credit

I could get a real designer, but if I had that kind of money, I would retire.

Ah, first world problems...

Cool Stuff that Should Be Made in the Future

Forget the 1949 cartoon on the "House of Tomorrow" with its automatic sandwich maker. We need real products right now. Here's a list, in no particular order, of things I think we should have today or at least this year:

Women's wrinkle free shirts under $60 - ... That aren't muumuus.

Red nose cream - To transform you from Rudolph to Prancer!

Mood recorders - Is there an app for this?

Condiment deathmatches - My money is on BBQ sauce, but I know any white sauce (including salad cream) will win.

Salad cream? Hell yeah!

Teleport machines

Clothes that wash themselves - We want the clothes to also dry and fold themselves, but inventions follow a cycle of iterations.

Super absorbent movie theater seats - Just kidding. I think they are made this way naturally.

Personal zombie entourage - Wait, isn't that redundant?

Equal pay for equal work

Alerts for dropped calls - Who hasn't said half of their life story before realizing they were cut off half a minute ago?

High water pressure in all buildings - Anything less is unacceptable.

I'll take one of each, but one is actually better than nothing.

Oedipus Complex & Breaking the Cycle

Trolling through my usual blogs, Jezebel, Love Maegan, and Penelope Trunk, I was expecting some light reading since it was the holidays. However, Penelope Trunk is rarely a "light read." This week there was a picture of a giant bruise on her bare hip under the words, "I am at a hotel. I think I'm dying. I have a bruise from where the Farmer slammed me into our bed post."


Cue record scratching noise. I read the rest of the post, which was a highly descriptive account of her abusive spousal relationship. It bothered me so much that I read all of the comments, like I was expecting for some big reveal to the story I ingested. Nothing. 


I like reading Penelope Trunk's blog, as her opinions are well researched, but slightly controversial. I found her blog when I was devouring content about Tim Ferris' book, "4 Hour Body," another well researched book about minimum effort/maximum benefit. One afternoon I read most of her blog, discovering that she has Asperger's, a horrible childhood, and some very deep rooted issues. Her writing is refreshing though, as she points out her limitations and how it affects everyday tasks like going to the DMV without incident, for example.


I couldn't understand how she could be in a relationship where the safety of her children was at stake (in my mind, it's not ok for kids to see grown ups take something out on other people). The last line of the entry, "That’s why I can’t leave. I want someone to miss me." boggles me. Is it the Asperger's? 


Are we destined to follow our parents' footsteps? I sure as hell hope you have more free will than that. But I constantly see old college acquaintances in shotgun weddings, live the single-parent life, or work at the local Applebee's for a career. 


Growing up, my parents fought. Mom got out when it got bad, to which I'm forever grateful. Later, I realized that most people are attracted to people who are like their parents. Would this mean that I'd be in an abusive relationship? Would I find someone full of charm who would later turn out to be hateful? I looked hard for these things in all of my dates. I didn't marry someone until we had dated for six years, just to be sure, because I wouldn't want that to happen to my future kids. 


Do we have free will, can we make a deliberate decision not to repeat a negative cycle? I hope that I have the clarity to see the beginnings of a bad situation, because I've spent most days thinking about how bad situations begin. Before dating my husband, my mind was in another place, and had no self awareness, therefore it was hard to improve anything about myself. Worse, I didn't realize I had no self awareness. Maybe this is where Penelope is - she has an inkling about why things are the way they are, but feels no control in the situation. No one gives you feedback these days (unless you consider internet comments).


Maybe we all can change, but it takes the right set of variables. I hope Penelope and her kids can find these.

Let's Talk About Razors

Ever since I decided to take a razor onto my own legs (that fateful day at 11 years old), I've been looking for a better and easier way to remove hair. In fact, I wrote a poem about it when I was in high school, which I can't find at the moment. But back to being 11... I decided to take matters into my own hands after Mom refused to let me try razors. It was intense, and I spontaneously started wearing (neon green) knee socks to cover the finished product (my first attempt resulted mainly in shin carnage). After almost 20 years of practice, I can safely say that I've discovered a few arteries in my ankles, and rushing is a bad thing, despite tools or products to prevent "accidents".

A recent study at Gillette Venus found that 30% of women use men's razors for their own shaving needs. Why? Could it be the toddler-spoon handles they use for the women's version? Women's refill cartridges are over $2 a piece whereas men's are less? Aversion to moisturizing strips, which the women's variety carries extra? Apathy?

Conversely, do dudes use women's razors? What would be the real benefit?

To me, it comes down to the bottom line - price. Three blades is three blades, any way you slice it. I have used shaving cream, conditioner, and good ole' water to get the job done without a problem. Issues with nicks, which is what the ladies' version is supposedly preventing, can be avoided if not trying to finish in 3 seconds.

I've provided a survey on the right, should you care to weigh in on such hairy matters...

Welcome back to Turbo Walking! And name changing

Since I've been married, I decided to change my last name. According to one study, over 50% of Americans in 2011 still think that women should change to their husband's last name. Obviously they didn't ask me, celebrities, or anyone with academic publications.  Having grown up as a Gen Y person, I don't necessarily believe that one needs to adopt their husband's name, I just thought it was beneficial to change on a couple of levels.

For example, I got the chance to move up in the alphabet. If you were ever in public schools, you know that order mainly depends on last names, and rarely on height (which, if the case, I would always be first in line). Second, I have no ties to my maiden name. The W family, who have caused me more stress than joy, are not representative of my personal philosophies.

But I'm beginning to see a lot of career women not take their husband's names, for a variety of reasons. Publications, reports, and general identity of being a good worker go down the drain with the maiden name, should one choose to change it (especially once your reputation is established). People like Lady Gaga, Cher, and Madonna totally avoid this scenario by not having a last name. Even if Julia Roberts were to marry her child's father, I doubt she'd take his name.

So with the new name came a new email. With a new email, I decided to change websites. Because the Google email address cannot be decoupled from the blog, it was becoming a pain to log out-log in-log out to type something up for you guys, check the stats, or whatnot.

Grateful for Not Working

Ok, so who wouldn't want more money? I don't have a Shetland pony or even have a Porshe, maybe because I don't work 100 hour work weeks for that kind of lifestyle.

My work is relatively boring, and a recent podcast from Adam Carolla indicated that being in the middle of the popularity scale (i.e. not too good but not bad enough for everyone to have an opinion) was a good thing. Even though my job title is "engineer," I basically go to meetings most of the day. Meetings fall somewhere between watching paint dry and executing the boss's orders, like in Independence Day, so the ratio of intense mental engagement to eye glaze is always changing. While the result of my attendance might not be anything great, "it ain't bad." Never am I unwelcome or worse... invisible to the people in my field.

Anyway, I'm glad that my writing doesn't bring home the bacon, as I've seen some real winners lately. Sure, I love writing and taking pictures... of stuff that matters to me. Stuff that matters to other people has been increasingly less important, and I feel like the quality of my work would reduce exponentially to the number of "assignments" required per week. Maybe the folks who are really good can consistently produce. That would explain why Bob Ross could keep up "happy little clouds" for 403 episodes of The Joy of Painting. It's what separates us mere mortals from the Rowlings, Speilburgs, and Madonnas, who worked very hard to earn the title, "Great."

Realizing you're just average instead of great is a tough pill to swallow, but actually, being great isn't all that great anyway. I'm glad I don't have to make people care about what is important to me. My time and energy can be spent on those things instead of what's important for money. Great work most likely doesn't include cats in sunspots, for example.

No Makeup

In some of the downtime of my honeymoon (which consisted of equal parts sightseeing, sleeping and eating), I read this article about wearing no makeup for a month, which was written in 2009, but holds water two years later. As a white collar worker who has read several studies on how good looks in the office affect salary and promotions, I was intrigued on why this lady decided to go an opposite path. 

Inherently, I am lazy when it comes to cleaning the house and my looks. I haven't made the bed in over a year, and eyeliner consistently dries out whenever I purchase it. More than once, I have said to the mirror, "Why can my hair look good ALL days with minimal product, dammit!" Yeah, I might be spoiled in this department. 

But there are a few tricks I consistently rely on, including whatever it takes to make my schnoz and undereye circles as invisible as possible (i.e. concealer, powder, anything veil (including the mineral variety), etc.). Additionally, I fought the zombie look with bronzer, blush, and at the end, highlighter. After a recent semester where classes were in a different town than the job and home, I needed all the help I could get. And when did mascara and lip gloss ever hurt? Looking back, I transformed into a female female impersonator in business casual. The stress of my daily activities definitely took a toll on my skin, but fortunately I had a plan in place for that.

How cool to give it all up and be "naturally beautiful"?

My biggest concern was not being taken seriously at work. I've never been one to put my face on before my husband sees me in the morning, and I was already a fan of not wearing makeup on the weekends. But work... I was riding some weird line where I wanted to look like I knew what I was doing in all aspects, not trying too hard, and not being too lazy (which goes back to the first paragraph). If I looked put together, then my life looked put together, and I could be trusted to make a good decision.

In high school, I never wore more than chapstick (which was more personal expression than house rules). When I was hazing for a high school sorority (who does those by the way?), they made me wipe a tissue across my face to check for makeup. When nothing came up, they smeared red lipstick across my face. Of course I wore it as a badge of honor. As in, I don't need makeup. Period. This might have been the only time in high school I had confidence.

So for the remainder of the honeymoon, and the first week back at work, I remained makeup free. Instead of the half a dozen layers of makeup for different areas of the face, I obsessed with eyebrows and skincare (which still took up less time than the makeup). A part of me felt sad that I'd purchased $100 worth of the best eye shadow and brushes because I wasn't using it.

I cheated and wore makeup on the 13th day of two promised "without" weeks - it was glorious. Although weirdly, only women at work noticed. My nose was redder, for one thing. While I didn't tell anyone what I was doing, I got compliments on my outfit when I wore makeup, "Is that new?", "No."

So now (without classes and a wedding to plan), I've decided to make my makeup more unnoticeable. More natural Lady Gaga, less regular Lady Gaga, and mostly because of laziness. I don't need to be someone entirely different - although long lashes and shiny lips never hurts.

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From the initial research I've done, there exists no hard data on either the salary issue or the dating issue. Also, we never get an idea of how much makeup a person is wearing. How can one track the amount/benefit ratio? I am still working on this, but my hypothesis is that wearing makeup elicits a female's reaction in most cases, and a male's reaction in a subset of cases.